Saturday, February 4, 2012

Funny Fat Guy T-Shirts Help Us Rejoice

By Mark Ladd


America today is fueled by fried food, drive-thru windows, and television. The bad part about that is that it has made us into some pretty overweight people. The good side is that it has made us into a pretty happy people. If it wasn't fun to eat whatever the heck we wanted to, Americans would all be skinny and super healthy. The sad fact is that obesity makes us happy. It is the anti-fat culture in America is what stresses us out when we should be celebrating. It is past time we put on our funny fat guy t-shirts and got happy about being fat.

There are going to be some critics out there who are going to cry "foul" when they see me wearing funny fat guy t-shirts and eating a pile of French fries. Yes, being overweight is not very healthy. There all kinds of risks involved with letting your weight go. We all know about this because it is hammered into us daily by all directions. We know we are in danger of all of these health problems, but we frankly don't care. Fat people live in the now. What is the famous saying for drinkers? "I would rather be a good liver than have one?"

There is nothing more American than being fat and happy, and nothing is fatter or happier than funny fat guy t-shirts. All of the world looks to the United States with contempt because of the massive majority of us who are fat. Frankly, it is none of the world's business what Americans do with our time or money. If we want to celebrate our success with food, then so be it. We are a prosperous country and not many of us are for want of something to eat. There are many countries in the world that are full of starving people, but does that mean we have to cut back out of American guilt?

The United States of America is a powerful country, and we have more wealth than anyone else in the world. We display this by buying toys we don't need, funny fat-guy t-shirts for parties, and eating more food than we have to. It is part of our culture to devour what we can when we can, passed down from our great-grandparents' struggle during the depression and our grandparents' forced rationing during WWII. We can't help how we are raised, and it may take generations to undo the damage to our culture...until then, we're surely going to eat up.

No one can make you feel bad about being fat but yourself. There are many people who will call you names, shun you, or roll their eyes when you walk past. I have no room in my life for the emotions those people try to make me feel. I am who I am. I am a funny fat guy in a funny fat guy t-shirt, and I dare the world to accept me for who I am. Guess what skinny, America? The fat people outnumber you 2 to 1. You are not elite anymore. Skinny is the new minority.




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